He has my total support in dealing with both the drugs and the underlying issues.They are part of him, part of his history, and part of the man I love. Everyone has their baggage, but it would depend on how many years sober they've been, on how big of a factor being an "addict" is in their identity, and if they had to be 100% sober all the time to avoid risk of a backslide.Multiple attempts to quit, hard drugs, no real underlying reason are all things that I'm going to look at as warnings.Basically, my #1 question in terms of former addiction is if you're gonna relapse.I stole from him, I lied to him, I pawned his possessions, and crashed his Shelby GT 500 and badly dented the back end (not the bumper).But when I was ready to get help, he was there for me.
I also don't want a partner who can't/doesn't have an occasional drink.
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He tried to get me help before I was ready and it didn’t work.
But I can't cope with addicts I'm skeptical of any addict that refers to him/her self as a "former" addict rather than a "recovering" addict, because "former" to me implies that you no longer feel you have to keep working at your sobriety -- and sobriety is (as it should be) a lifelong journey. I know a lot of addicts -- both current and recovering -- and none of them have been particularly stellar partners to their respective significant others.
Maybe it's an unfair prejudice, but I'd go into a situation like that This is very, very situational--which drug, why they were addicted, and when/how they quit matter.
Even though he hasn't touched drugs in over 8 years, he still has a fucked up brain.