Most people have issues with their parents and are looking for Mommy or Daddy replacements. The nature of humans means we are complicated and don't always do things for the right reasons.
I think this article is only perpetuating the overthought approach most 20 and 30 somethings take to love, intimacy, companionship, and the "search" for all of these things.
How can I get help to learn more on how to deal with a woman that keeps her ulterior motive and issues locked away.
First you need to figure out that you're not responsible for other persons emotions. If you stay true to yourself and be as authentic as you're capable of the other person has only two options left: she either starts acting in a more authentic manner or she leaves (which is also just as well, actually).
Forget “The Rules." Stop believing “He’s just not into you." In fact, skip all the self-help confusion that instructs you on how to morph yourself into the perfect match for Mr. People who are genuinely happy with their romantic choices spend more energy working on their self-development than on appearing a certain way to attract love.
As long as they reflect your genuine interest, work through the anxiety and put yourself in novel situations where you may meet different kinds of people and experience other aspects of your personality.
Entering into a romantic relationship believing that the person is going to take care of you in the way your parents have can turn a healthy match into a toxic one. A popular idea holds that in order to find the right partner one must first work alone on self-improvement—"I just need to do me for a while." In my experience, when women do this, they put themselves in arbitrary exile, where they feel sad and out of touch.
You have to be in control of your own life, self-aware of your goals, needs and emotions. With such a vague goal of "working on myself," enlightenment eludes and isolation compounds the misery.
Stop overthinking yourself and your approach to "finding" someone.
Indeed, fed-up and/or desperate people reading this article may practice these habits and fall into a serious relationship, but why the need for a "life hack" for every facet of life today?