If I fall in love “Father you make it sound so cold-blooded”—objects many a young lady. Either that or one surrenders oneself to one’s feelings.The fact is, love can be a cold-blooded affair, if it is true love—that is, an act of the will towards a person who has been perceived by the intellect as somebody worthy of love. Unfortunately, love has been confused with feelings or affections.Ultimately, of course, the deterioration of morals in society should be blamed.However, I am more convinced each day that the occasion for possible failures in this regard can be minimized by postponing going steady until after college.
You casually ask him when he plans to make the actual purchase and he—just as casually—tells you he has no plans yet, at least not in the next couple of years. Why shop now if you’re not going to buy it in the next few years?
Only the intellect can really judge the overall aptness of a person for conjugal love.
Only afterwards should the will follow: “I love him, because he has the qualities that I consider indispensable for the man who will be my husband until death, and who will be the father of my children.” The failure to distinguish between feelings of love and love itself is at the bottom of many failed marriages.
Granted within those two years the couple may really feel in love with each other and thus practice fidelity with each other (hence re monogamous in a sense), nevertheless, since they are too young to really commit themselves to each other for life, the relationship is not indissoluble.
Thus, in the span of the decade or so prior to marriage, the unwary young man or woman might go thorough several monogamous but dissoluble relationships.
2nd: Courtship – the period of mutual discovery of a man and a woman, the essential qualities of which are the thought of a possible future marriage and—because of this—varying degrees of commitment and exclusivity.