When I told her about my journey of reevaluating my own book we began a discussion that eventually led to a documentary film project called 3. Many people have wanted me to quickly make a statement about how I view my book now—either an apology or a defense. I asked one of my professors to oversee a process of study in which I examined the historical, spiritual and sociological factors at work in the church when I wrote my book and in the twenty years after its release.I read hundreds of stories from people who were influenced by my book and had phone conversations with many of them.Why should we be surprised that we will need to reevaluate?Then fellow students began to graciously share ways my writing had negatively affected their approach to relationships.I’m learning that it has to do with whether we approach life from a posture of fear or one of faith.
I heard about ways that we leaders hadn’t listened to those who disagreed with us.
It has to do with the kind of Christian communities we form.
It has to do with how we conceive of healthy practices for Christian living.
Unbeknownst to me, Jessica had read my book as a teen, passionately championed its ideas but then had experienced painful disillusionment with its ideals (you can read Jessica’s story ).
She had a vision to create a documentary to talk about the real experiences and challenges faced by Christian singles.
Is there always one right way to practice principles? If we do things “exactly right” or “by the book” does God promise us marriage or a great sex life?