Accidents are sometimes punishable as well, but usually with softer penalties. ’ After hearing his daughter’s why question, Land wondered, what if you could develop film inside the camera?They’re often labeled “negligent,” or “reckless.” Whenever my wife was mad and I thought she was charging me with murder when my crime was actually driving too fast in a construction zone, I’d get defensive and pivot the conversation to her lack of justice instead of the thing about which she was upset. And since I believed that, she was the real rabble-rouser in the marriage and nothing was ever my fault. Then he spent a long time figuring out how—in effect, how to bring the darkroom into the camera.“That one why question inspired Land to develop the Polaroid instant camera. But it all started with a child’s naive question—a great reminder of the power of fundamental questions.”“In an effort to try to understand you and not fight about this, I want to try to make your argument for you.My marriage fights mostly consisted of me attempting to invalidate my wife’s complaints under the basic premise that I considered them petty or unworthy. And because, in my mind, her arguments lacked logic and reason, I categorized them as WRONG. I was either accidentally (and I do mean accidentally) a master manipulator OR an intolerably oblivious moron, depending on how well a given observer understood relationship dynamics as we discuss them here. I want to accurately state what you think and feel, and why you think and feel that way so that you know I understand you.Since both my ex-wife and I are socially competent, we didn’t have many disagreements in front of others. (That’s code for: crashes and burns.) I can’t overstate how powerful the moment was when the puzzle pieces came together and I finally understood WHY. Our day-to-day existence is so much easier when we live unaware of danger. I think children growing up with both of their parents together and showing them by example how to love effectively is important. But when we’re in it—fighting with our spouses and feeling betrayed because they don’t seem to be loving us as they promised to on our wedding day—we sometimes feel like they’re deliberately causing us harm. I was hoping you would agree to do the same for me. ” The point of this entire post is this: Until your husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend, demonstrates beyond doubt they can accurately articulate your point of view, you can safely conclude that THEY DON’T KNOW HOW YOU REALLY FEEL.But we can mostly agree that pain in most forms and at most times is a predominantly negative experience. We rarely ask ourselves or others the right questions.Hurt someone long enough or hard enough and they won’t even be the same person afterward. My go-to defense when my wife was upset with me in our marriage was to say I didn’t do it on purpose (which was true). “Back in the 1940s, Edwin Land was on vacation with his 3-year-old daughter.This would have to be done by the spouse who filed the original divorce petition.It is possible to stop a divorce via reconciliation if you are able to show your spouse that you have changed, are willing to work on the problems in the marriage and your spouse’s heart is open to “trying again.” 1.
Others like the achy remnants of vigorous bedroom activities, or headaches the morning after a fun party, as a reminder of the fun.If your spouse has withdrawn from you and the marriage to the point of filing for a divorce, you will have to swallow your pride and hurt feelings in order to be open to what your spouse may need from you for them to consider restoring the marriage.Playing nice doggy and rolling over with someone who has walked away from their marriage isn't easy but, if your desire is to save the marriage it's something you will need to be willing to do. Take responsibility for your role in the problems in the marriage.Under the law, marriage is considered a contract and laws are set up to protect the one who wishes to break the contract, not the one who wishes to continue in the contract.If your motivation for wanting to stop your divorce is to restore the marriage you have no legal recourse.
Invalidation, as used in psychology, is a term most associated with Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Marsha Linehan.