I like laughing, dogs, lots of food, beer, outdoor activities, and adventures. Based on the moments that I get, there seems to be a lot girls on here who know everything about love and relationships… When she arrives home she figures it out, goes next door, to the monastery where the monks live, opens the door interrupting the monks at dinner and shouts: “Alright, which one of you bastards has been wanking off on the church candle? My fairy tale prince is somebody who is tall, nice, and is willing to be roofied and anally penetrated by the second date. Swipe right ;)If you can’t handle me at my worst, then leave because I don’t have a best. Just your typical docile, subservient oriental girl wanting to help quell a white boy’s yellow fever. Yet they’re still on Tinder Lets sauce in the tub together, ya dig? You never have to worry about me walking out on you. I’ve learnt that men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny… Gag reflex as absent as my father figure I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him if he’s going to eat the rest of that pizza. Mainly because you love me but also because I believe in no sex before marriage and curiosity is killing you. Looking for a man to cum inside me so I can wipe my goopy vagina along the kitchen floor and pretend I am a slug. If I see you without an erection, I’ll make you a sandwich. Lonely vagina seeks penis to be friends with and maybe more Voted most likely to steal your man. About me: Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out. We get married and on our wedding night we’re about to get down and dirt when suddenly I pull up my dress and expose my penis. If you can’t handle me at my worst I really commend and respect you for setting healthy boundaries for yourself. Skills include: giving head and completing entire games of Civ V.#dicknotdevotion What similarities are there between a 9v battery and my a**hole? You know you shouldn’t lick it, but you do it anyways.
We get there to find out half-price doesn’t start until 9.
One of the best resources I came across was the Tinder thread on a fitness forum – this was a huge 350 page thread with thousands of posts! Warehouse worker to pay the bills :)Looking to meet some new people and see what happens :)If you start a conversation with something along the lines of “you look like a f*cking giraffe c*nt”, chances are we won’t get along. On the topic of nude pics: I just want to remind everyone of a little movie called TITANIC… I’ve been having dreams about you and me…I’m 26 I live with my grandparents but that will hopefully change soon. I still ride on the back of shopping carts when I shop.
I read as many pages as I could after work, long into the night, and finally finished reading the thread after one whole week. I want to do adult things with you…*whispers* taxes*panting softly* pay the mortgage*moans* make sure we turned off all the lights, our electricity bill was 300 f*cking dollars this month Just doing this because my boyfriend did. a girl in 1912 has her naked body drawn in a sketchbook by a random dude that no one’s ever heard of, locks the drawing in a safe on a boat, the BOAT SINKS, and her nude picture STILL ends upon television 84 years later. Looking for someone to bring to family events so they’ll stop thinking something’s wrong with me I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook. I am a little freaky at times…but no one has stepped up to the plate to explore that side of me.
Kinda girl you would take home to your mom but would blow you on the way there. On our first date I will carve our initials into a tree. I offer to go to the movies but you are tired/have to do laundry.
It’s the most romantic way of letting you know I have a knife.“Well honey, I met daddy when he told me he ate ass and asked me if I had snapchat” Let’s get pizza. I take you home and awkwardly hug you in your driveway. I get 2 favorites and a reply calling me a “fagit”.
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