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I’m a great singer, but my sister always tells me I sound the best when no one else is around. How about we do ‘until we both get on each others nerves, stop sleeping together and are plotting our escapes.’ That may sound bad, but how many people do you know that are happily married? I am definitely a believer in being faithful to one another and I love the thought of sharing a home. Swipe right also if you can teach me how to better use my Tivo. I am that intelligent, caring, kind guy that your parents always told you to go for.

I’m just not cut out for this ‘until death do us part thing’. We can live our lives happily without that stressful commitment. Swipe right if you like a high powered firecracker of a woman who only recently learned how to use a Tivo.

Maybe you’re just not attracting the right type of person.

In these profile examples we went on to and randomly selected a few online dating profiles to show some of the biggest mistakes people make when writing their own profiles.

Rosefacekillahh, from Melbourne, Australia, warns online daters that she’s “not down to earth at all” in her Ok Cupid profile’s self-summary.

I have a Reese Witherspoon personality, Nicki Minaj body and the eyes of Frank Sinatra. I will not, under any circumstance, get rid of them. I’m like Adam Levine, but without all the tattoos, the womanizing and the millions of bucks. Online dating isn’t usually my thing, but I lost a bet so here I am. As long as you’re not bossy or rude, we will get along just fine. You friends will absolutely adore me and your ex-boyfriends will moderately show distaste for me. I’m definitely here to sweep the right girl off of her feet if I am given the chance. I also volunteer at my local pet shelter on the weekends. It’s like we’re all playing some bland game of Mad Libs. I’m [good trait], [good trait], and [ideal virtue you wish you had but don’t]. Your personality, sense of humor, and storytelling ability are more important than the bare facts.I enjoy [activity] with my friends or watching [popular television show or movie] on my own. Of course, writing a funny and attractive dating profile is no easy task.

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Probably best to avoid depicting yourself as a psycho stalker if you want people to message you. First, you have the picture, which is nothing short of epic.

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